Tired, tired, tired

Bella's sleep is seriously messed up - she is not falling asleep until really late then up again early . . . It is rough - especially since I now have to be up for this camp at school. And I . . . need . . . sleep. But somehow I had a little panic attack last night. My heart really hurt - my chest/back - and I could not get a deep breath (shortness of breath) and one does not need to be studying to be a doctor to have that scare the living daylight out of you. So I panicked - Bella needed me last night and I was the only one who could calm her down and get her to sleep. I would spend all my minutes of everyday to hold that little girl if she needed me. Obviously I eventually felt better, but it gives you a wake up call. I need that little girls love as much as she needs me. And how heart wrenching for the people who lose that or never have that. This goes into play that I wish I could save all the abused, neglected, sad children. As for that - I wish I could rescue and keep all the abused and neglected animals and the ones no -one wants. I would take care of them until someone needed them - give them love - and happiness - until someone else wanted to show them that kind of love as well. I just mentioned to Dr. Chavez yesterday - I can't stand when people hurt animals (and children) - I remember jumping out of my vehicle (well the vehicle my boyfriend at the time was driving) and running down the freeway to save a dog that someone just dumped in the middle of the road - my efforts were fruitless and I cried and cried. How could someone do that and why couldn't I save the poor thing. He was so scared and lacked trust. Love - if he was given love - if I was given the chance to show him love - I could change all that. Back to my quote from the bible . . . "And the greatest of these is love."

Maybe God you could allow me the chance to do this - I don't need money or fancy things - I just need the opportunity to help people and animals . . . Oh please please please God give me that chance.