I am braver than I believe . . .

	You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. - Christopher Robin to Pooh

Well Charles left again last night - I say again because he did this last year right in the middle of my school term with two HUGE tests coming up within the week and no one to watch Bella for either class or the tests. I was devastated. But you can only hurt me bad once . . . you can only burn me one time and as the song says "the first cut is the deepest." And my first cut was quite deep and a long time ago, so nothing will crush me. I won't let it. I let it the first time, to the point of becoming anorexic, depressed, and lost part of myself in the "first cut" experience. But what did not kill me truly made me stronger - it also might have made me quite a cynic, but a stronger cynic it made me. Which is one of the reasons I am probably not married right now. I always loved this one comedian that said "everyone is f*&('d up, you just need to find someone as f*(&'d up as you and hang out." Or something to that effect. I will never deny that I have issues. But maybe it is the army brat in me or just the events of my life that have made me always pick myself up, dust myself off, and get movin' on. Now that I have Bella - nothing can stop me. It is for her that I will carry on, succeed in all I do - to prove to her that she can do that and more. By the way he is back again . . . for the moment . . . but hopefully to stay.

So I say again, "I am braver than I believe, stronger than I seem, and smarter than you think." Look out world . . . .