Perfect Endings or how about just perfect journey . . .

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next."
                                                                              Gilda Radner

Isn't this a perfect quote . . . so it has been a while since I wrote and a lot has changed - and my life has been about "not knowing and having to change" - I am single mom now and raising my darling boop to the best of my ability on my own.   I am taking every moment and making the best of it - not knowing what will happen next. 

And now once again, I have to figure out what I want to do with my life.   I need to decide if I want to do a residency in radiology or in internal med (which I can specialize in other fields) or something else  - it is all very stressful for someone who likes life to just fall into place.  I hate this part - I want God to put a big sign that says "This is the way - go here" and maybe he is but I am not seeing it.  (sigh) 

Back to the quote - You know I never got poetry  - my mother, brother and sister love poetry - but I didn't get it . . . if it doesn't rhyme - is it poetic?  I think most of it was too deep for me - I am very simple believe it or not.  That is what makes me happy - simple.  I don't want to think too much or too deep.  I don't want to contemplate, rearrange, and rebuild.  I look complicated - maybe even seem complicated -but I am very simple.   If it is good, do it.  If it helps someone, even better.   I found if I can help someone - I help myself too.   I have always gotten so much pleasure out of making someone else happy.  It is a simple idea that works for me most of the time.   However some people don't help themselves, so helping them is an endless, tiresome task - a wild pony that sometimes you just have to let go, jump off that carousel, and walk away.    My problem is I keep finding wild ponies - I am a wild pony.  

Ok - I must go and do what I do not like to do and that is contemplate my life . . . which residency to do, where to go . . . but please no ropes, no reins, no saddles . .  .