Bravery and strength hurt too much . . .

You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. - Christopher Robin to Pooh  Not sure why I am using this quote for my post today - maybe because I had to give away one of my dogs - which breaks my heart.  It wasn't easy - it took a while for me to find the right person- but I believe I did find the perfect person.   See Angus bit my little boop's face - now let me clarify this statement - he didn't just jump out and bite her to be cruel . . . Bella was being wild and jump on him when he was fast asleep (Bella on my big bed and Angus on the floor near my feet) - so he bit out of reaction of being landed  - which I am sure hurt and scared him - but I had to be really smart about this . . . I would love to handle all the things I have going on in my life - I would love to save all the animals and kids in the world that need saving- but I can't do it right now- in my crazy "save the abused" mind I would love to think I could someday do that - and I refuse to think otherwise . . . but now I just can't do it.  Bella's cheek is still healing - could be a scar and I can't deal with the fact that these dogs need more love and attention than they are getting right now - they need walked which I couldn't do well with just 2 dogs when the ex left the first time -  much less 3 not that he is gone for good.  But now with the two I have left - I am going to try - Bugsy is bigger but chico is small enough to carry if need be - so I will make an attempt to be a better dog parent now that I can handle it better.  So as I cry tonight- and watched my daughter cry last night (until I soothed her with the idea that we could visit Angus whenever which is what the new owner really did say) - I am smarter perhaps - but not too brave or strong right now.   I keep thinking of the first day I met Angus and brought him home- and how much I love him to this day.   But now he will be the only dog in the house and it is a house with a big backyard - so he will be the king and he so deserves to be the king.   And I vow to be better at making the two dogs I still have and love feel more like royalty.   I am braver, stronger and smarter everyday - but somedays I just don't feel that way . . .