Making the most of my life . . .

"I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in
fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit
my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less
afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it
becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my
significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed
goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me
as blossom, goes on as fruit."

-- Dawna Markova

I don't know if I already quoted this fantastic quote before- but it bears repeating . . . repeatedly. I so want to live this kind of life - to "inhabit my days" - to "risk my significance" - "to go on as a fruit" - TO LIVE truly live each day realizing that you have to get the most of out that day because that is all we have is the moment - to be afraid of trying new things but still trying them - and to pass something of meaning - the fruit- on to the next generation. I was never one to have goals- they seem limiting to me for some reason - maybe it was my fear of actually reaching them (or should I say the fear of not reaching them) or more likely it was the idea that if I put something like a goal in words - I was STUCK - I had to accomplish that - and I didn't want to have to commit to anything - I want to be able to change my mind. Yes if you actually knew me - this would explain a lot.

Anyway have I mentioned how beautiful my parent's are - truly wonderful people - I couldn't do half the things I did if I didn't have their support - and not just financially - I hope I am their fruit - I hope that what I can pass on will make them proud. Secretly that has been one of my goals and one that I can commit too (possibly the only one)